Too Much Disposable Income: Brookstone is Now a Sex Shop?

Brookstone Outlet Store, Kittery Maine

Brookstone Outlet Store, Kittery Maine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you been to your local Brookstone lately? For those of you who are unaware, Brookstone sells electronic gadgets similar to the now defunct Sharper Image. I consider Brookstone another one of those places you go when you have too much diposable income and/or are looking for latest greatest technology to buy that you are convinced will make your life easier.

During Sharper Image’s going out of  business sale I had a field day, thus I haven’t felt a need to enter any gadget store in a while. I still don’t know how to fully utilize the stuff I have now, which includes a satellite clock radio with some very complicate weather predictions. However, after riding the plane and feeling bored I picked up SkyMall, the notorious catalogue of stuff for people who have too much disposable income. I must say that the assortment of gargoyles are looking much better these days. Although, I still do not feel the need for any Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings jewelry. Nonetheless, there were some gadgets that caught my eye. This was the start of me subconsciously thinking that I need some more gadgets.

So on my latest trip to the mall, in which I was accompanied by mother, I was drawn to Brookstone. I was already excited by the new outdoor speaker for the ipod/iphone that included several cool lighting features, when I saw the neck massagers. Side Note: apparently, experts are now using a life vest design for neck massagers, but what they don’t realize is that it is really an upper back massager. The new massagers were on the right in the front of the store along with foot massagers and personal massagers.

In the personal massagers section, they had the massagers that  look like microphones, which are used to pinpoint areas of stress. As I looked down, I couldn’t figure out why the microphones were getting smaller. Then, I saw a massager that was a ring. I was like “Wow, I guess you can massage one finger at a time.” Then, I put all the context clues together and looked at my mom, waiting for confirmation. My mom said, “That looks like a dildo.” Then we started cracking up, when a salesman approached us and said “It is what you think it is.” He then followed it up with, you should contact Brookstone about this, because I am having a hard time with it being on my sales floor.

Open Letter to Brookstone:

Dear Brookstone,

I think it is great that you have provided a place where people can easily access products for pleasure and believe that you could become a market leader. Note to Self: Find out more about Brookstone’s financials.  However, please be aware that trying to slip products for pleasure in the personal massage section is very uncouth. Second, if it a product for pleasure, say it and write a proper description of what the product does. Third, I am sure that you could sell more product, if you put these products in the back of the strore. People need to time to peruse without the glare of unapproving bystanders.


Peevish Magnifying Glass

Click Here for Brookstone’s Personal Massagers, which once again commingles products for stress and pleasure. Lelo is the key terminology that differentiates the products.


One comment

  1. Pingback: I Can Read Too: 10 Things I Learned from Reading Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed « Public Investigation

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