Tagged: Sarcasm

Too Much Disposable Income: Jos. A. Bank’s Buy 1 Get 7 Free Promotion

To me it would seem like you would only need to shop at Jos. A. Bank at maximum 3 times a year to get a years worth of wardrobe. I am not sure how they get repeat customers, because if things are always on sale, why not just buy a whole bunch in one go. Macy’s doesn’t even have this many sales. Do you have to consistently replace clothes, because they don’t last that long?  Maybe they have crack in the clothing. (Note 1: there was a story about the flame retardant in furniture giving people cancer today, another reason not to sit-down. Note 2: Is the reason why we love money, because of the cocaine found in dollars?) Jos. A. Bank’s buy 1 get 3 free promotion seems to have been going on, since the recession in 2008.

I have always pondered, if I was male would I go to Jos. A Bank or Men’s Warehouse, because I identify with the cool bald guy in the chair that says “You’re gonna like the way you look.”  Jos A. Bank always has male prep school looking models. To be truthful, if I was a male and had that bald guy’s swag, it really wouldn’t matter if I wore Men’s Warehouse all the time. But, I guess that’s the point.

Anyways the debate is finally over, because the crack that JoS. A. Bank puts in their clothes, must have gotten to their marketing team with this new buy 1 get 7 free promotion.

Buy One Sport Coat, and get:

  • 2 pairs of pants;
  • 2 sweaters;
  • 2 sportshirts +
  • Android Smartphone (w/2 year contract).

I noticed that this is not online, so it is probably just in store. I am not sure if it is nationwide either. However, if you were  holding out for the buy 1 get 4 free promotion, hold out a little longer because the apocalypse of Jos. A. Bank sales may soon be coming to a store near you. Although, I am pretty sure, Jos. A Bank will try to outdo itself again.

Why can’t women have these deals!

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There Is Hope For Bald Men: Shave It All Off

This is a Public Service Announcement for Bald Men:

If you are a man who is losing your hair, it’s okay. Trying to cover up the fact that you are going bald with a toupée or with a comb over only brings attention to the fact that you are going bald. To many, a balding man that poorly covers up the fact that he is going bald exudes vulnerability. See George Costanza in Seinfeld.

It was quite apparent that George is wearing a toupée.

Next up, the comb-forward king, Donald Trump.

Yes, Donald you have a strong hairline, but it is clear your crown is failing you.

In the last 10 years, bald men have gained traction in reasserting their attractiveness. The following are bald men that are winning:

Bruce Willis

English: Bruce Willis at the 2010 Comic Con in...

Jason Statham

Jason Statham

Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel at the Fast & Furious premiere at L...

Billy Zane

English: Billy Zane at the Cannes Film Festival

Pitbull

English: Pitbull in Enrique Iglesias Euphoria ...

Tyrese Gibson

Tyrese Gibson speaks about working with the mi...

However, there are three things that all of these men have in common: 1) they wear hair loss confidently; 2) they work out to make up for the fact that they don’t have hair; and 3) they have well groomed facial hair. Thus, if you are looking to embrace the baldness, please be aware that you should probably work on these things to maintain your attractiveness.

Too Much Disposable Income: Roadside Assistance, Big Box Store Memberships, and Silver Polishing

Coburg pattern fork and spoon ends by William ...

Image via Wikipedia

This is a new line of posts. Basically, these are clues that people with too much disposable income like to leave to inform you that:  1) they think they have so much money, they don’t care where it goes; 2) they don’t have time to pay attention to their money, because it is coming in so fast; or 3) they don’t recognize the costs, because they think their lifestyle is normal.

Let’s start off with a practical examples. These relate mostly to adults with children.

Roadside Assistance: They have triple coverage. Are you renewing your AAA service, when roadside assistance is provided by your car dealer and your auto insurance?

Big Box Store Memberships: Are you a member of Costco, Sam’s Club, and BJ’s, because you swear you can’t get everything at one store? Really?

Products for Silver Cleaning: Do you have Tarn-X in your household, meaning you have lot’s of silver? If you just have silver plated stuff, you probably never thought about polishing it.

Note: I am not saying that having a lot of disposable income is a bad thing, but I think it’s funny when people don’t realize that they have a lot of disposable income.

And You Thought the Snuggie Did Not Go Far Enough, Well Then Here’s Forever Lazy!

If you are looking for some new sleepwear, then the latest greatest thing in pajamas may be for you. Forever lazy pajamas are similar to onesies or footed pajamas without the feet. Otherwise, if you are just looking to laugh, press play.

Highlights:

  • “Forever Lazy,” I guess someone did not hire an ad agency when they were in the product naming stage.
  • “Slip it in, zip it, and get lazy.” Not the best wording.
  • “Party it up with friends!” Really should I gather my friends, so we can hang out in our onesies?
  • Starts to get real crazy at :57
  • :57 that guy is really raiding the fridge
  • :58 cramming for a test. 1st that guy is playing video games. 2nd, both of them look way too old to be college students.
  • 1:03 drawstring hoodie is the best way to keep from being chilly. So I am supposed to be taking these pajamas outside?
  • 1:05 Yes, I am supposed to take these outside and have a refreshing glass of water. This is starting to get like that cialis side by side bathtubs commercial.
  • 1:07 “Talk of the next tailgate.” Out of control. At this point I am dying of laughter and now I need to find a football game to try this out at.
  • 1:18 “On no! Gotta go?” Zippered hatches in the front and on the side. Did they miss anything? Caution, now when you do venture outside in your forever lazy, be aware that you are walking around with a bullseye on your back. Perverts should be happy.
  •  1:21 “Great escapes, when duty calls.” You are just playing with me now. I can’t take this commercial or this product seriously.
  • 1:36 $19.95, I though it was steep at first, but then it includes socks and a neck pillow. However, why wouldn’t I just get footed pajamas?
  • 1:51, love the really cool masculine hand slap at the tailgate. Yes men, you can maintain your masculinity when wearing a forever lazy at a tailgate…
  • If you happen to see the extended version, you will also get to see that you can get 2 for 1, because where would an informercial be without that offer. To embrace how excellent the deal is one person shocks you by jumping from behind another person. There is also a shot of people jumping and them taking a camera shot mid air.
  • Ugh, how I wish I was at the brainstorming meeting; let’s have adults hang out in onesies and shoot a commercial that is inspired by teletubbies.